Fostering Community and Making New Friends

“I made a friend today!”

I remember my daughter coming home from elementary school years ago, delighted that she’d made a new friend. She’d played with someone at recess and then sat together at lunch.

The reality is that this idea of friendship isn’t just important for children. It is critical to thriving as an adult and long-term happiness as we age. 

Most guests love the possibility of meeting new people or seeing old friends who return year after year during their weeks at The Ranch.

Our beloved Deborah (Rancho La Puerta co-founder) even talks about prioritizing spending time with and traveling with her friends during her Q&A evenings.

Studies have repeatedly shown that being connected to others and having even just a few close friendships help us age with more ease and joy.

How do we make friends and foster community as adults when our lives feel pulled in so many directions?

Knowing no one, I thought about this a lot when we moved to Baltimore last year. And though I didn’t realize it, I used these three lessons learned at The Ranch over the years to foster friendship and create a sense of community.

1. Go for a walk with others.

Hikes at the Ranch are one of the first ways guests bond.

There is something about being short of breath as you make your way up your first mountain hike of the week that connects you to those around you, and before you know it, you’ve hiked the rest of the way, learning about one another. You can find local walking clubs or seek out neighbors or friends to walk with at home.

2. Savor mini moments of quality connection.

The pandemic felt isolating for so many people because we lost the opportunity to be together. To make eye contact. Share an emotion. Laugh with someone. The beauty of mini moments is that they can happen anywhere and with anyone when you make eye contact and allow yourself to be fully present with another human and share a moment of emotion, vulnerability, or laughter. This idea of intimate connection is something that you can experience with friends who you’ve known for many, many years, but also in small ways when you just allow yourself to be fully present in an interaction.

3. Play more.

Play is not just for children. Adults need to play, too. It inspires a connection not only with your inner child but also with others. Something about playtime invites us to drop our armor and just be. Play can feel easy when you are at The Ranch and have opportunities to try something new or do something just for fun, but what about at home? You can start by creating a “playlist” of activities that would feel fun or that your inner child might be excited about. There may have been a class you’ve wanted to try or a club you’ve wondered about. Or you could gather a group of friends or neighbors to play cards. You cannot get this wrong.

Remember that fostering community and creating new friendships takes time. Be patient with yourself as you try new things and know that not all relationships are destined to turn into long-term friendships. But the more you put yourself out there and engage in activities that fill your heart, the more you’ll surround yourself with a supportive community.