Why Getting Older Is the New Getting Better: Lessons From a 103-Year-Old Trailblazer
On May 3, our co-founder, Deborah, will celebrate 103 years on the planet. It seems fitting this month to celebrate the benefits that accompany the years. Deborah says, “Each decade of life is like a step on the ladder: each rung promises a new horizon.” Deborah always looks toward the horizon and never looks back.
According to Age Wave, an organization that studies the shifting age demographics worldwide, the fastest-growing demographic in the world is those aged 65 and older, and this demographic is expected to double in the next 25 years. I feel like we have been living in a society that is very ageist and focused on youth. This focus is shifting as more people age, and life expectancies are also increasing.
The new way of thinking about aging is to focus on the positive aspects of growing older. When I was in my 30’s and 40’s, we seemed to focus on the negative perception of aging, physical ailments, and mental decline. And yes, our bodies change but not to the extent we used to think. Perhaps we are taking better care of ourselves by eating better, getting rest, and exercising regularly; medical advances are constantly evolving and improving. The baby boomers were the demographic that first started going to the gym and incorporating exercise into their lives. And they continue to do so. They are also more conscientious of their eating habits and getting regular health check-ups.
In Maddy Dychtwald’s book Ageless Aging and Chip Connoly’s book Learning to Love Midlife, both authors cited research that shows people are happier in their 50s, 60s, and beyond than they were in their younger years. Some reasons for this shift are that we have already completed our education, mostly raised our kids, and established careers. As we get older, we can start to focus more on ourselves. We start spending more time on things that bring us joy and purpose. Life experience makes us better equipped to manage stress, resolve conflict, and appreciate each day. I am no longer in my youth. I realize that most of the things I stressed about in the past often did not happen, and if they did, I learned from the experiences and survived. Facing challenges and finding ourselves on the other side builds our resilience. The more life we get through, the less anxiety we have about what lies ahead.
As we age, we prioritize our relationships and surround ourselves with people who bring us joy and fulfillment. Maintaining strong bonds with family and friends helps us feel we belong and have a purpose. Deborah says that it is important to have close friends. She advises us to have two to five friends who will be there for us and you for them no matter what. Deborah also advises that some of your friends need to be younger than you. She smiles when she says if all her friends were her age, she would not have any left.
Many seniors lead fulfilling lives, pursue second careers, and engage in community service. Deborah started a second career in Washington DC at 60, which spanned 17 years. One of our staff’s moms returned to college at age 80 and is working on a master’s degree. Our beliefs are simply things we tell ourselves repeatedly. As our population grows older, healthy, and vibrant, our beliefs about aging change. I don’t think I have ever had someone tell me they would like to return to their 20s, at least not mentally or emotionally. Years give us experience and life lessons that make it easier to deal with some of the less glamorous aspects of aging. Chip Conley says that as we age our egos start to spend more time in the backseat and less time at the driver’s wheel. When we learn to combine our experience and knowledge we gain wisdom. After all, no one can take away our life experiences.
In Richard Lieder’s book Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Old?, he says that while everyone is getting older, not everyone is getting old.
Three years ago, on Deborah’s 100th birthday, I asked her what she wanted to do this next year, and she said, “Have more fun!” She said this like someone who is not growing old!
