Not Someday, But Today: Choosing Peace Now
Lao Tzu, the ancient Chinese philosopher and writer, said that if you are depressed, you are living in the past; if you are anxious, you are living in the future; and if you are at peace, you are living in the present moment.
One of the gifts of The Ranch is that it allows our guests to spend time in the present moment. There are many distractions in our lives, and The Ranch allows us to let go of them. Our world seems to be getting faster, technology is growing exponentially, and we are tied to our devices. Whenever we pick up our phones, we leave the moment we are in and are jolted to the past or often the future. Most of us rarely have even an hour, let alone a day, of digital detox. These types of distractions keep us in our heads and thoughts that are pre-programmed to move us from the present.
Mindfulness is the practice of being present. It is to be aware of our moment-to-moment experience while not judging but accepting the experience. When I think about it, if I am truly experiencing the moment, there is no room for judgment, only being with what is right now. If we can truly be present, we can experience life directly rather than through our thoughts.
One of my favorite teachers, Thich Nhat Hanh, said, “There is no way to happiness-happiness is the way.” “The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.” Our 103-year-old co-founder, Deborah, says, “Love the person you are now, not the person you hope to be someday. Someday will come naturally. (Or it won’t). I believe Deborah is suggesting that we not live for the future but for today and find joy in this moment.
We have to reflect on the past and give some energy to the future. There is benefit in learning lessons from our past. We learn from the past and ultimately gain wisdom from reflecting on opportunities for growth learned from experiences. The trick is to not dwell on mistakes or what we could have done differently because we can never change the past. Instead, seeing what might not have worked as an opportunity to shift and make a different choice in the future. If you wish to go on vacation, you need to plan it in advance, which puts us in the future. We plan our programming at The Ranch almost a year in advance. My daughter is getting married this month, and had she not planned in the future, she would not have a venue, and her guests would not have been able to plan to be there. So clearly, we do have to spend some time in the future, which should not prevent us from being present. Planning for the future is different than worrying about the future. Worrying about things that have not happened robs us of the present.
Like many things in life, being in the present moment takes practice. It may not be realistic to be in the present moment 24/7, yet it is possible to find times during each day to focus on the moment you are living. There are many ways to practice being present, and awareness is key. One of my personal practices is to pause and take three deep breaths and focus only on the breath coming in and out; this immediately brings me back to the present. Others find meditation to be a practice that brings them back. Being in nature and focusing on just the beauty around us can also ground us in the now. Finding things to be grateful for right now can shift our focus from what’s missing to what’s already present. Focusing on a single task can be mindful; eating is an example- pay attention to your food’s tastes, textures, and smells. Multi-tasking is counterintuitive to being present. We all can find practices that bring us back to the present. We simply need to practice them.
I remind myself that the future is not guaranteed, the past is gone, and what I do have is the present.
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