Self-Care: Filling Your Cup First

I used to think self-care was selfish. The idea of putting myself first felt wrong, as if I were being indulgent while others needed me. But here’s what I’ve learned: you can’t pour from an empty cup. And trust me, I’ve tried. The result? Burnout, resentment, and showing up as a shell of myself for the people I care about most.

Self-care isn’t about bubble baths, face masks, or binging on Netflix (though these things can serve you on occasion). It’s about intentionally creating space for yourself so you can show up fully for your life. It’s about recognizing that taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.

My morning ritual has become a sacred part of my life. I wake up an hour earlier than I used to, not to squeeze in more productivity, but to give myself the gift of time. Before I check my phone, before I think about my to-do list, I acknowledge that I am alive and have the gift of a brand-new day.  Sometimes I journal, sometimes I practice breathing exercises, sometimes I recite positive affirmations, and sometimes I pet my cats, who inevitably snuggle up next to me. This isn’t wasted time—it’s an investment in how I want to feel for the rest of the day.

Those first few minutes set the tone for everything that follows. When I skip this ritual, I notice the difference immediately. I’m reactive instead of responsive, scattered instead of centered. When I honor this time for myself, I move through my day with more presence and peace.  It doesn’t mean things won’t go awry during the day; it does mean I feel like I can respond to them in a healthier way and with perspective.  

I believe that words are very powerful.  The book “The Four Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz lists the power of our words as the first agreement for a happier life.  And it is not only the words we speak to others, but even more powerful are the words we speak to ourselves.  Those words spoken positively are affirmations.  Affirmations felt awkward at first. Standing in front of the mirror saying “I am worthy” felt forced and fake.  I committed to sticking with the practice because I realized how much negative self-talk was running through my head on autopilot. If I were going to have a running dialogue with myself anyway, why not make it supportive and uplifting?

I’ve found that simple affirmations work best for me. “I am enough, exactly as I am.” “I trust myself to handle whatever comes my way.” “I deserve care and kindness—especially from myself.” (I wonder why we can be kinder to others than ourselves.) We don’t need to believe them entirely at first. The practice is about creating new neural pathways, rewiring years of self-criticism with something gentler.  After all, a belief is just something we tell ourselves over and over again.  

Gratitude practices have been equally transformative. I keep a small notebook by my bed and write down three things I’m grateful for each morning. They don’t have to be profound—sometimes it’s just “the smell of my morning coffee” or “the first light coming peeking through my curtains.” This simple practice has trained my brain to notice what’s working in my life instead of fixating on what’s not.  Before I go to sleep each night, I review my day and write down three things that went well during the day.  With any luck, they will slip into my subconscious while I sleep.  

Here’s something I wish someone had told me earlier: it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to protect your energy, as it is a precious resource. I used to say yes to everything, thinking I was being helpful, but I was showing up depleted and resentful. Now I ask myself: “Does this align with my values? Do I have the capacity to show up well for this?”  This one is challenging for me, a “people pleaser”.   When I practice it, it usually turns out just fine, and people still like me and perhaps respect my honesty.  

I’ve learned to schedule things I enjoy like actual appointments. A walk in nature, going to the gym, calling a friend who makes me laugh, spending time on a site devoted to random acts of kindness—these aren’t indulgences to squeeze in if I have time. They’re essential maintenance for my wellbeing. When I prioritize these activities, I feel more optimistic, more patient, more creative, and more present for others.

Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s sustainable and creates resilience. When you fill your cup first, you have so much more to offer the world. You deserve to feel good in your own life. You deserve to prioritize your wellbeing. Start small, be consistent, and watch as everything else begins to fall into place.

Your Wellbeing Deserves Priority
Give yourself the space, tools, and time to feel centered, energized, and alive. At Rancho La Puerta, self-care isn’t an afterthought; it’s the heartbeat of your stay. From sunrise hikes to mindful movement, nourishing meals to moments of stillness, you’ll discover daily rituals that recharge your body and mind.

Make Yourself a Priority — Plan Your Wellness Escape Today