Growth in the Aftermath: Thriving Beyond Adversity
It is inevitable that as humans, we will face adversity. These adversities, big or small, may feel like a negative part of life. They may feel unbearable. They may make life feel like it is completely crumbling down around us. Our thoughts can make adversities feel larger than life. But what if I told you that each adversity we face presents an opportunity for growth, learning, and strength? To find opportunities to thrive beyond adversity, you can leverage the power of your thoughts, combined with evidence-based psychology skills.
Cognitive Reframing, a psychological technique based on Dr. Aaron T. Beck’s work in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, can be utilized across various life stages to reinterpret negative, stressful, or challenging experiences as positive, beneficial, and constructive events. Here’s how you can begin reframing the adversity in your life:
Step 1: Notice the life experiences that you are interpreting as negative, stressful or challenging.
Examples:
• a. Making a mistake at work
• b. Having a disagreement with a loved one
• c. Living an overly scheduled day-to-day life
• d. Loss of a close friend or family member
• e. Attempting a new workout class activity
Step 2: Use questions to prompt your brain to think about alternative perspectives.
Examples:
• a. What led to this mistake, and how can I prevent it in the future? What needs change so that this doesn’t happen again?
• b. What did I learn about myself and the other person through this disagreement? What are ways that we can improve our communication in the future?
• c. What matters most to me, and how can I prioritize it more consistently? Does the amount of time I spend in different areas reflect how much I value them?
• d. How did this relationship help me grow as a person? What can I do that would make this person proud?
• e. What is the benefit of me trying something new? What is the value of pushing myself slightly outside of my comfort zone?
Step 3: Focus on the growth, learning, and strength you can gain from this experience. Examples:
• a. When I do x, then this mistake happens. I can change this in the future.
• b. I learned that x really matters to me and y really matters to my partner. These insights will help us continue to build our connection.
• c. I have the opportunity to analyze my values and structure my life in a way that reflects them.
• d. There was a lot that this person taught me, and I will continue to let these impacts live through me.
• e. Trying new things allows me to continue to grow, both mentally and physically. It might be scary, and I can utilize my support network to help me overcome my fears.
Here are suggestions for putting Cognitive Reframing into practice effectively:
• Use a notepad or journal to work through this mental process on your own. Writing out your thoughts can provide structure to your thinking and help you reach step 3 with more objectivity and ease. Writing your thoughts in a personal place like this can also allow you to be candid and open with what is going on in your head in a safe, nonjudgmental manner. There is no need to place any labels or judgments on your thoughts; let them flow out of you through your pen.
• Share this article with someone you trust to help you with this skill. Then talk about the Cognitive Reframing skill you are practicing and how you are using it to reframe your thoughts about the experiences you’re having in your life. They can act as a sounding board for step 1, ask you prompting questions aligned with step 2, and help you reach the strength in step 3. It’s a great way to build trust within your connection with this person, while promoting individual growth AND togetherness growth.
When we shift our perspective on our challenges, we open the door to a different mindset. You have the power to create these doors, open them, and choose to walk through. These doors lead you to a life of greater peace, strength, and resilience.
To discover more practical tips for cultivating a daily, resilient mindset, follow @Elite.Edge.LLC on Instagram. If this is a topic or skill you are interested in learning more about, let’s start a conversation by reaching out to me directly via email at Priya.EliteEdge@gmail.com
