Kindness is a Super Power

When contemplating what subject, I wanted to write about in my last blog post of 2025, I decided to write about something I am very passionate about: kindness. When I’ve been asked what the one quality, I admire most in others, it’s always kindness.   I have even had the word kindness tattooed on my shoulder. In situations I often remind myself of something I heard in a training I attended on emotional intelligence and that is “when you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always choose to be kind.  And you always have a choice”.  I think this applies to most relationships we want to strengthen.   

Kindness doesn’t seem to make the headlines, and we are left feeling like it is not a core value of our society.  Yet science reveals that acts of kindness—whether grand gestures or simple moments of compassion—create remarkable benefits for both the giver and receiver. Far from being merely “nice,” kindness triggers physical and emotional changes that enhance our wellbeing.

When we engage in kind acts, our bodies respond with tangible physiological changes. Research shows that kindness stimulates the production of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” This neurochemical doesn’t just make us feel warm and fuzzy—it actively protects our cardiovascular system by reducing blood pressure and decreasing inflammation in the body. People who regularly volunteer, for instance, show lower levels of inflammatory markers linked to heart disease and other chronic conditions.  This was substantiated in a longitudinal study done in the 1990’s by Allan Luks involving thousands of volunteers.  Besides the physiological benefits, volunteers reported feeling warmth and increased energy.

The stress-buffering effects of kindness are equally impressive. Acts of generosity activate our parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the harmful effects of chronic stress. When we help others, our bodies produce less cortisol—the primary stress hormone—while increasing serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters associated with pleasure and satisfaction. This biological response explains why people who engage in regular acts of kindness often report better sleep, fewer headaches, and stronger immune function. (Richard P. Sloan, Eugene M Stein, et al:  UC, Riverside).

Perhaps most remarkably, kindness appears to influence longevity itself. Studies tracking volunteers, including the longitudinal one mentioned earlier, have found that those who help others live longer, healthier lives—a phenomenon researchers call the “helper’s high.”  The physiological benefits of kindness create a cascade of protective effects throughout the body and have the similar effects as food and sex. (Kim, E.S., Whillans, AV., Lee, M.T., Chen, Y., and Vender Weele, T.J. -2020).

The emotional benefits of kindness are equally transformative. When we act kindly, we experience what psychologists call “positive affect”—an elevation in mood that can last hours or even days. This isn’t fleeting happiness but a deeper sense of meaning and purpose that contributes to psychological resilience.  I have personally found that when I can focus on making someone else’s life a little better I forget my problems for a while and often find them not so daunting when I address them again.  

Kindness also combats depression and anxiety through multiple pathways. By shifting our focus outward, acts of kindness interrupt rumination—the repetitive negative thinking that fuels mood disorders. Additionally, helping others provides perspective on our own challenges while fostering social connections that can serve as protective factors against some mental health struggles. 

The beauty of kindness lies in its accessibility. You don’t need special training or resources to begin. Simple acts—holding a door, offering genuine compliments, listening without judgment, or checking in on a struggling friend—all trigger these beneficial responses. Research done in 2005 by Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that performing just five acts of kindness weekly can significantly boost happiness levels. The results are dramatically improved when more than one act of kindness is done in a day.

The ripple effects extend beyond individual benefits. Kindness is contagious; witnesses to kind acts are more likely to perform their own good deeds, creating expanding circles of positivity. In this way, personal kindness becomes a force for collective wellbeing.  I am going to focus the close of 2025 and the new year on being kind in everyday situations, interactions and finding ways to play it forward.

When contemplating what subject, I wanted to write about in my last blog post of 2025, I decided to write about something I am very passionate about: kindness. When I’ve been asked what the one quality, I admire most in others, it’s always kindness.   I have even had the word kindness tattooed on my shoulder.   In situations I often remind myself of something I heard in a training I attended on emotional intelligence and that is “when you have the choice to be right or to be kind, always choose to be kind.  And you always have a choice”.  I think this applies to most relationships we want to strengthen.   

Kindness doesn’t seem to make the headlines, and we are left feeling like it is not a core value of our society.  Yet science reveals that acts of kindness—whether grand gestures or simple moments of compassion—create remarkable benefits for both the giver and receiver. Far from being merely “nice,” kindness triggers physical and emotional changes that enhance our wellbeing.

When we engage in kind acts, our bodies respond with tangible physiological changes. Research shows that kindness stimulates the production of oxytocin, often called the “love hormone.” This neurochemical doesn’t just make us feel warm and fuzzy—it actively protects our cardiovascular system by reducing blood pressure and decreasing inflammation in the body. People who regularly volunteer, for instance, show lower levels of inflammatory markers linked to heart disease and other chronic conditions.  This was substantiated in a longitudinal study done in the 1990’s by Allan Luks involving thousands of volunteers.  Besides the physiological benefits, volunteers reported feeling warmth and increased energy.

The stress-buffering effects of kindness are equally impressive. Acts of generosity activate our parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the harmful effects of chronic stress. When we help others, our bodies produce less cortisol—the primary stress hormone—while increasing serotonin and dopamine, neurotransmitters associated with pleasure and satisfaction. This biological response explains why people who engage in regular acts of kindness often report better sleep, fewer headaches, and stronger immune function. (Richard P. Sloan, Eugene M Stein, et al:  UC, Riverside).

Perhaps most remarkably, kindness appears to influence longevity itself. Studies tracking volunteers, including the longitudinal one mentioned earlier, have found that those who help others live longer, healthier lives—a phenomenon researchers call the “helper’s high.”  The physiological benefits of kindness create a cascade of protective effects throughout the body and have the similar effects as food and sex. (Kim, E.S., Whillans, AV., Lee, M.T., Chen, Y., and Vender Weele, T.J. -2020).

The emotional benefits of kindness are equally transformative. When we act kindly, we experience what psychologists call “positive affect”—an elevation in mood that can last hours or even days. This isn’t fleeting happiness but a deeper sense of meaning and purpose that contributes to psychological resilience.  I have personally found that when I can focus on making someone else’s life a little better I forget my problems for a while and often find them not so daunting when I address them again.  

Kindness also combats depression and anxiety through multiple pathways. By shifting our focus outward, acts of kindness interrupt rumination—the repetitive negative thinking that fuels mood disorders. Additionally, helping others provides perspective on our own challenges while fostering social connections that can serve as protective factors against some mental health struggles. 

The beauty of kindness lies in its accessibility. You don’t need special training or resources to begin. Simple acts—holding a door, offering genuine compliments, listening without judgment, or checking in on a struggling friend—all trigger these beneficial responses. Research done in 2005 by Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests that performing just five acts of kindness weekly can significantly boost happiness levels. The results are dramatically improved when more than one act of kindness is done in a day.

The ripple effects extend beyond individual benefits. Kindness is contagious; witnesses to kind acts are more likely to perform their own good deeds, creating expanding circles of positivity. In this way, personal kindness becomes a force for collective wellbeing.  I am going to focus the close of 2025 and the new year on being kind in everyday situations, interactions and finding ways to play it forward.

Tune into Resonate, The Ranch’s podcast with Conversations & Life Lessons hosted by Barry Shingle.