Wisdom at 104: Deborah Szekely on Living Well

“You are the boss,” Deborah Szekely says. “You accept unhappiness, or you reject it.”

At nearly 104, the co-founder of Rancho La Puerta isn’t slowing down. She still exercises, reads constantly, and stays deeply engaged with the life, Resort, and industry she helped build.

Deborah doesn’t make living a long life her main goal. Instead, she talks about discipline and the steady, everyday choices that shape a life.

Take her diet for example. She eats simply: yogurt, whole grains, fruit in the morning, salads, and vegetables. She’s been a pescatarian most of her life. Nothing extreme or trendy, but consistent.

And she makes sure to move every day.

“Movement means life,” she’s said. “Stop moving, you stop living.”

But what stands out most isn’t her routine, it’s her clear outlook.

She believes happiness is a daily choice.

“You accept miserable people… or you don’t,” she says plainly. “Make choices within your reach to be happy and turn your back on unhappiness.”

That same clarity shapes how she thinks about relationships. Deborah doesn’t idealize connection; it’s an essential part of her life.

She often shares that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 14 cigarettes a day. Her advice is not to wait until later in life to build meaningful relationships. Start early. Friendship, she says, is built in layers and evolves over time.

Even now, her life is full of friends, books, conversations, theater, and opera. When asked about her favorite place to travel, she doesn’t name a destination; she names people.

“It’s the friends that matter,” she says.

A deep sense of purpose runs through everything she does. For Deborah, the greatest loss wouldn’t be physical decline, but the loss of the ability to help others.

“To me, the greatest disaster will be when I can no longer serve.”

Her life has been shaped by a mindset of giving and curiosity.

That’s the foundation of Rancho La Puerta. She helped create it nearly 86 years ago, not just as a place to visit but as a way of living, a place rooted in movement, nourishment, community, and purpose.

The real question isn’t how long you’ll live, but how you choose to live right now. This May, Deborah turns 104.

Listen to Deborah on episode one of Resonate and join us for a transformative week.